Life has its strange twists and turns. Slept so late yesterday, images of my life flashed before me like a slideshow.
My first memory, when my mom called me and offered me the bottle of milk my little sister couldn't finish. That's the earliest I can go back and that's when life begun for me.
A little boy about 5, I was crying coz mom was washing and scrubbing my hands and feet in hot water, on that cold winter night. It was the same night I saw a wounded terrorist running for his life, and coming straight to our courtyard. Mom showed the opening through the hedges, and gave him directions. The army came shortly afterwards;tall big guys, all heavily armed. Everyone saw the blood but mom lied and we somehow managed to escape.
A shy teenager about 13, when I got my first love letter. I got scared and never talked to her. At that time, I hardly talked to girls anyway.
Just 16, when I came to delhi for the first time. Homesick, terribly lonely and with a few mispronounced and broken phrases in hindi, I carried on and fell in love with the city.
18, feeling ashamed and angry coz dad and my brothers were scolding me. They were shocked and hurt coz I had come in the first division for the first time in my life. The first time I passed an exam without a rank/position. My neighbours were celebrating coz their sons and daughters have managed to pass the same board exam.
A few more images and my mind turned to women. Marianne Faithful, a very beautiful and enigmatic singer, pursued my so many rock stars of her time. Mick Jagger of the Rolling Stones, sang a song for her, when they were still the "biggest and baddest rock n' roll band" in the world. We'll never know what she really felt when she heard that song for the first time; all we know is that the famous "Ruby Tuesday" chain of restaurants came up everywhere.
I still wonder how the most intelligent and mature women are so similar with the most ordinary ones when it comes to making decisions...anyway, here's the song.
Don't question why she needs to be so free
She'll tell you it's the only way to be
She just can't be chained
To a life where nothing's gained
And nothing's lost
At such a cost
Goodbye, ruby tuesday
Who could hang a name on you?
When you change with every new day
Still I'm gonna miss you...
There's no time to lose, I heard her say
Catch your dreams before they slip away
Dying all the time
Lose your dreams
And you will lose your mind
Ain't life unkind?
Goodbye, ruby tuesday
Who could hang a name on you?
When you change with every new day
Still I'm gonna miss you...
6 comments:
Snippets from life. studded with gems, a flow with gaps where memory cannot hold, and with spaces of terror..i guess that's how everyone's memory works.
Your writing always conjures up a picture of a man who is much older than his years and knows pain from near and beauty from nearer.
guess you are right dreamcatcher. and what you do with those memories defines you.
yup flame, i feel really old sometimes. some of my friends say i've gone through things many people would never experience in a single lifetime. much older than my years though i look like a schoolboy on my good days and a college goer on my bad days:-)
how old were you elf, if i may know:-)
Zypsy indeed. Where are you from? And I don't get it - why did your mum lie to protect the terrorist?
I was in ninth-tenth standard,vacation class in school for the boards. And if I may add, all that publicity as so and so's gf(they don't leave you any choice, do they?) drove all the real contenders away.
but still I wish I had been kinder. its Karma and what you do comes back to you and some shit like that.
i'm from manipur jasmine. been in delhi since '93, was in tamil nadu for 4 years, '95-'99.
it's not only mom, everyone has to lie there. we don't protect anyone, we lie to save ourselves from the armies and the terrorists. the people are caught between the two sides.
9th standard, i was in 8th:-) mom always say i'm a heartbreaker and i'm gonna pay for my sins one day!!
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