street sexual harassment

Much has been written on this; stories have been told and they've left me with an overwhelming sense of sadness and anger. Some have simply told their stories, while some have offered solutions.

I was born in the northeast, I grew up and lived there for almost 15 years. I've been in Delhi since my 11th class and in between, I was in Tamil Nadu for 4 years. I've also been to numerous places, all over India.

It happens almost everywhere in India but no place can beat the northern states of Haryana, UP and Delhi when it comes to the sheer rejection of women's equality and the utter disrespect for them. For the men folks in these regions, being manly or macho is a matter of life and death. And at the expense of the women.

It's how they speak; if you are a real man, every phrase, every line has to be punctuated with the infamous BCs and MCs. Doesn't matter much who is around. In every house, there is a husband, a son, a brother or an uncle who uses these expletives every time, everywhere. And no one in the family will protest, men or women. It's a manner of speaking for the guys; it's a way of life out here. It happens in the colleges and offices too.

It's how every family views incidents of molestation or harassment. When their own daughters, sisters or wives are the victims, very few families will come out and report it. Someone passed a lewd comment, someone felt you up, it's silently accepted. Maybe with a bit of indignation, but not because you have been victimized or scared to death but because someone has violated their property or shown disrespect to it. Coz this is India, families own all the unmarried women and the husbands, the married ones.

Someone rapes you and the verdict is - you have done something wrong, somehow, somewhere. Forget society, forget the man-woman divide and look closer. Most of your family members, your relatives and your neighbors will have this opinion.

Don't believe me, do you? Ask yourself then, why do these people keep quiet? Why do they talk of the whole thing as if you were to be blamed? Why are they ashamed to talk about it or report it? Why do they make you ashamed of yourself? Ashamed of being born a woman in this Goddamn country?

You and I are going to write about this. You and I are going to light candles and stand together in front of the Parliament or India Gate. The laws may be changed and we may congratulate each other. But will it really change much?

Why don't we start with a little bit of education instead? Start with the men in your lives; your fathers, your brothers, your uncles, your boyfriends and your male friends. Whenever they use some expletives, pass a derogatory comment, make a judgment or ogle at a woman - don't you dare accept it silently. Say something that will make him ashamed, slap him if you have to but don't you dare let it pass.

Women's day will come and go, the blanknoiseproject will be forgotten in time, the interests and enthusiasm will dry up and the flowers will wither away. But the girls will remain, the girls with the same old scars and fears.

Won't it be far better to change the attitude of the men in your lives than to change the laws of a country?